When we’re new to horses, we hear a lot of things that make us think we have to be in charge. “Show him who’s boss.” “He being disrespectful.” “You need to be the alpha.”
I used to be this way.
I thought I had to be the one in charge. I said jump, my horses said, how high. It wasn’t a conversation, it was me issuing orders and them obeying.
That’s not the way I do things anymore.
I want my horse to have a voice in our partnership. I want them to feel comfortable saying no, and be able to use that as information to help them become more willing on the next attempt.
I want my horse to choose to be with me, without any threat of consequences if they don’t. I want an open line of communication, one that works both ways. I want to listen to what they try to tell me the very best way that I can, and be as clear as possible in helping them understand what I’m asking of them.
Communication, not coersion. Connection, not control.